It was famous Alibaba who sent me a text – are u up for an evening with Timi Dakolo. I said yes and he promptly stopped taking my calls.
Alibaba no dey take call and u must be extremely lucky for him to pick ur call. It’s worse when he promise u money, the Warri man son of a soldier will just put your phone for permanent ‘non pick’
Anyways, an evening with Dakolo? How much will the ticket be that son of Edgar all the way from Akwa Ibom and nobility in Shomolu will not afford to pay. Yes Buhari had eroded by networth significantly and Tinubu had made sure I dropped off totally from the forbes- Shomolu edition, that didn’t mean I will not be able to afford the gate fee of this Timi show for Tera Kulture.
Alibaba was standing at the entrance dressed like a British Jamaican immigrant complete with pot belly and shoes that looked like cortina. Oga why u no dey take call I screamed at him, he said no vex I dey find mallam to buy chewing gum, I no understand wetin dey do my breath. I say buy for me too, I just chop afang finish.
I loved the setting but didn’t understand why like six very beautiful women will clap for you as you entered. Well they clapped for me O and TVc started interviewing me and I was happy.
Be like say, me sef don turn small celebrity as other celebrities where struggling to greet me. Yaw the super talented entertainer who I must have on stage one day was the first. I love the guy die. Then my long time brother Noble looking like something from the runway with fine dread locks greeted me.. We hadn’t seen in a long while.
The my brother Ouch. He had sponsored my play threesome and I had misplaced a very expensive bag he had given us as prop. My brother I start to dodge the man, I was so good at dodging him, that I totally forgot what he looked like. We later found the bag and I was relived but dodging him had become a career. Na so I dodge am again last night but he grab me. Duke of Shomolu, I screamed brooooooo no vex and he said we don see the bag na 4 years ago. I hugged him.
Then I went to piss and saw my ex Nephew in law. We marry for the same family before – Akeem. Akeem owns the who wants to be a millionaire franchise and I heard him tell his very beautiful wife Uncle Edgar is here. Why he insists on calling me Uncle in public and in the midst of Gen Z’s is what I will still ask DSS to help Investigate.
Like that big belle, big head Scott that kept saying-Duke you don old O. Age do dey show O. He kept saying it and I kept wanting to show his nude on the large screen in the hall. Leave am make I Don old, I still fine pass you. Kai.
That is how Timi came out. He was simple in one trad that I didn’t understand. The thing look oversize and at the same time fit am. He wore a big black shoe with red trappings and had his normal timi hair style.
The stage was simply beautiful. Elegant in its engagement and the instruments were brand new. His team’s ensemble was great, dressed in all black and talented.
You knw the impressions of a great vocalist with the confidence of not putting semi nude girls on stage trying to distract us from the lame vocals of some so called superstars.
Not Timi. If you ask me, he is the greatest vocalists of all time. His grainy voice, hitting your chest and forcing your attention. The clean sound and beautiful background vocals from one fine big girl and one black boy made the whole thing look virginal and endearing.
Now I am not sure if Timi is a better comedian than vocalists as he interspersed each song with beautiful well aligned and perfectly timed quips. From his story about his girl who lied to him about a trip to PH, to his eating eba three times a day to the consternation of his very beautiful wife, Timi killed last night.
His songs were confident and deliberate. His showmanship perfect.. I loved his vocalisation, his stagemanship and the way he handled us. He made it look like we were in his beer parlour gisting and singing and the crowd swallowed it up and loved him.
He looked like a child on that stage needing a hug. He was our son, our brother, our boyfriend, our husband and his beautiful wife had no choice but to share him with us.
She had her way sha as he took her on stage to sing for her which made some women in the audience coo and say, ‘ how I wish my hubby can do this for me’
Timi seranaded his wife, thanked her for coming all the way from the abroad to support him and he lavished so much encomium on him, that I began to wonder which offence did he actually commit cos na so man dey beg when he offend.
Timi, to me is the best thing that has happened to music. His longevity is not surprising. In the darkened hall Alibaba brought out a pic of him in secondary school and also at the Idols competition he won? And I began to imagine how many artists have come and gone yet he is still climbing.
Timi’ s voice flows like warm Baileys over ice. It careeses you the way baileys caresses your tongue before slipping dwon ever so sweetly down your throat creating a huge cascading warmth all over your body while throwing up goose pimples all over your captured body.
That is how Timis voice and lyrics used to catch people making me wonder what the hell he was doing trying to rap. That for me was his moment of ‘loss of Confidence’ as he tried to pander to a mass market who preferred the noise that was ‘gbam Jim Jim gbam’ instead of a more curated sound as pushed by my brother.
All in all, it was a magical night as for once, I saw real talent that had matured and was tasting like fine wine. Timi is on track to greatness and I am hoping that as I hail am so, he would be happy and come and sing in my December play – The greatest musical of all time in which I will be telling the story of Nigeria in music from 1960 till date and which will be directed by the legendary Makinde Adeniran.
Please in conclusion, can some one send me Timi Dakolo’s account number as I feel that I cannot have enjoyed myself so much without paying, that is corruption. Let me pay N5k as my own support so he can at least buy something for his kids for having such a talented and loving dad.
Well done bro. Well done bro.